TRYING HARD

I want to be a good person....

 but it's not easy...

                                                                

Sometimes I say things that seem good, nice, moral (I mean, according to the moral principle that I try to follow, which says: "treat the others as you would like them to treat you") and I really mean it! When I write them down and when I think about them, in between the four walls. But! 

When I go out to the street...

...it turns out that I can't act that way with the strangers but somtimes not even with my own loved ones.😞 I can't be patient and kind all the time, I can't be right with everyone, I can't love everyone, I can't be empathetic when someone upsets me, more over I litter on the street (I throw cigarette butts...) and I don't give money to people who asks from me (first of all because I also don't have much, but I'm even not sure that these poor people don't work for some mafia who tkaes advantage on them to make money out of their suffering). 

My husband, for example (this blessed good soul)...

...gives a little change to anyone who asks from him. 

But I give cigarettes (I learned that from my husband) if someone asks from me, although I wouldn't give more than two pieces a day or not even every day, because cigarettes are expensive. We buy most of our cigarettes here in the local small tobacco shop, which is called "Tekel" in turkish. They stay open until quite late. 

But they mainly sell chocolate, fizzy drinks, alcohol and cigarettes, maybe wet wipes in some of them...

....but e.g. there are no pads or tampons or condoms or some basic food type things like bread or milk...

So if for example you happen to get your period at night or you're travelling somewhere and arrive after 9pm (when most of the shops are closed) and you're having your period but you run out of your sanitary pad or you've run out of toilet paper at home...well, that's what you get. 

You can go home with blood on your feet (which I saw once on the street and I can tell you it wasn't too attractive sight) In this case arriving home at worst you can wash your bottom. And what if you're out of paper towels? There is nowhere to go to shop until the morning or if you were lucky you had a wet wipe and it was still usable for that purpose. 

Here in Turkey, there are no convenience stores that are open all day or until late.

(by the way, sometimes small restaurants are still open at night so in case you are hungry you can just pop in one and eat even for cheap some times...) 

But of course you can always order things online for 24 hours. 

On the other hand this is one thing what I really like in Budapest ,that there are small convenience stores where you can make your shopping just like in regular grocery stores. 

In those shops usually there are many people shopping even after 9 pm...because some people finish their work at that time and they also need to make thier daily shopping.