MEN'S VS. WOMEN'S CLOTHING

"This is going to be a short post. I’ve been thinking. That’s why it’s so short 😊

But seriously! I want to discuss with you why it is that when a woman dresses in men's clothes, nobody cares, nobody even notices, and no one looks twice. No one calls the police on them, they don't get fired from their job, they aren't ostracized, mocked, or beaten up in the street day or night because of it.

But it wasn't always like this! In Europe, for example, women started wearing trousers in the early 20th century, during the 1920s and 30s, but it remained banned and scandalous in many places right up until 1960.

On the other hand, if a man starts wearing women's or feminine-coded clothes, it creates a massive, earth-shattering scandal. The poor soul who dares to do this is not spared; there is huge resistance against this behavior, and it takes real courage and determination for anyone who actually chooses to own it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1_B-IKEufg&list=RDGMEMYH9CUrFO7CfLJpaD7UR85wVMQc9c12q3mrc&index=2

 At the same time, this doesn't make anyone a bad person or a criminal (although there are countries where this kind of thing is actually punished… crazy, right? But true!).

For instance, I like wearing tomboyish clothes. I like lounging around comfortably in oversized t-shirts and trousers without anyone commenting on what I'm wearing or why. And I don't understand why this can't work the other way around? Meaning, if someone is a man, why can't he just walk down the street in makeup, a miniskirt, or a top? (Granted, I'm not saying it's always beautiful—because it probably looks very strange since we aren't used to it—but I should add that the way I look, or the way some of my fellow women look, isn't always beautiful either… even when they dress as women 😊). So, look, I am for equality in every sense. As long as a person doesn't harm anyone else or their own health, I don't mind; as far as I'm concerned, he can wear lace panties even if he's a guy!

And please, just think for a minute about how your life is diminished if a man dresses as a woman or vice versa? So why does it even matter? Isn't love and filling our lives with meaning much more important? Why waste our energy on this, especially if it makes someone happier and takes nothing away from anyone else? Isn't that the most important thing? For people to feel liberated and happier?

Why do we have to make each other's lives harder by looking down on someone, ostracizing them, or punishing them just because they don't follow our way of life (and here I'm not just talking about clothing)? 

Now, I would like to quote Silo: "You wish to impose your way of life upon another; you wish to impose your vocation upon another. But who has told you that you are an example that must be followed? Who has told you that you can impose a way of life because it pleases you? What makes your way of life a model, a pattern that you have the right to impose on others? This is another form of violence.” (Silo, 1969, The Healing of Suffering)."

UNUSUAL EXPERIENCES

When a person has experiences that differ from the everyday, they get surprised or frightened, and perhaps even confused. These experiences can be so surprising and so "baffling" that one might not even willingly communicate them to others. 

This is because they themselves are not sure what it is they went through, and perhaps also because it is so "unbelievable" that they think it is better not to share it with others, who might not understand or might question the experience itself or their state of mind. Therefore, they do not want to "expose" themselves to all of this, because what they experienced is "real" to them and holds great significance.

Yet, a strange uncertainty can surround this experience regarding what actually happened and how it was even possible for it to happen. One looks for an explanation. Something rational. Something that makes this very special moment they experienced acceptable. They are looking for an explanation for something that is not rational and cannot be explained with "common sense."

If a person goes through such or similar experiences multiple times, they begin to adopt a different stance toward them. They do not necessarily look for logical explanations; they do not try to bring them down to an "everyday" level, but instead keep them on another level—the level where things that cannot be explained by reason reside, such as love.

If these experiences are so interesting to them that they wish they wouldn't just reoccur "randomly," they begin to search for ways to induce or repeat them. They try to recall what caused them to happen. What circumstances were present at that moment? What were the external and internal conditions?

In fact, many people probably have such experiences, but perhaps for the reasons mentioned above, these remain on a personal level and do not enter the public consciousness. This, however, prevents or hinders the understanding and "acceptance" of such interesting, unusual experiences.

We could also call them "spiritual" experiences, but since we do not communicate about them, we do not really know what to call them 😊

However, there are communities where these experiences are highly valued, and therefore one can openly share them with others. Such are, for example, the communities of Silo's Message, where unusual and transformative experiences are of particularly great value.

In this insightful video, you can better understand all of this, where Silo talks about it with his friend, Daniel Zuckerbrot:

These experiences prompt a person to start searching within themselves, looking for the meaning of life, to ask questions about everything that is important, such as suffering, overcoming it, death, etc. In these communities, not only can one talk openly about all of this, but there is also an opportunity for a person to experience and deepen these things if they wish.

 The Future as Present

Once I heard a very interesting story that has been on my mind ever since. The whole thing was almost miraculous. So, one fine day, a boy picked up a pen and started writing down his future life as if it had already happened. He described a desired future for himself as if it were already the present. He wrote the entire story in the present tense. 

And the 'miracle' is that what he wrote started to become a reality. One thing after another happened in his life. It is unbelievable but true.

A very dear friend of mine, from whom I heard this story, was so captivated by it that she did the same thing, just for a try. And guess what! The events they wrote down started to happen to them too. So, I decided to try it myself (one day 😊).

By the way, I think there is a psychological explanation for this. (You can go ahead and research this yourself.) 

I am particularly interested in how, when a person imagines things about the future or their future self (i.e., creates mental images), it affects their current life. And it seems to affect it very strongly! Some people plan, some imagine exactly what their future will be like, and for some, this is no longer just the future, but reality itself.

However, I did notice something about this knowledge: if I imagine myself in the future and treat it as the present tense—so I don't just long for it, but accept it as having already happened—well, then I really need to think carefully about how I imagine myself. Because what if it really starts to come true? 😮What if it changes my present life? So, while imagining things, one encounters the fear that life might change.

Perhaps for this boy to whom this "miracle" happened (and he is not the only one, in light of the above), it was completely clear what kind of life he wanted to live. I think it is very good if this is crystal clear to someone. 

Although I must add that even just thinking about the future moves us forward, precisely so we can clarify where we really want to go? 

Where we want to be heading? 

And who we want to be?

And if we have the courage to imagine the future we truly desire, and can even write it down as if it had all already happened... well, who knows... maybe we will succeed 😊 in having the life we truly desire.

So, what else might a person be afraid of when imagining the possible future they want? I think it's the fear of failure. 

The fear that what they imagined won't come true after all, and then they will be disappointed and perhaps lose hope. So, a person is afraid of change—that they will lose what they have—and afraid of failure—that they won't get everything for which they left behind. Well, this is roughly like falling into the void. They have already given up the old, but the new hasn't worked out. 

Yes, these are the fears! But we can play 😊 

In the above exercise, there is nothing a person could lose. And besides, maybe a person can imagine a future where they don't have to give up the things they are afraid of losing 😊 In that case, when you start imagining this, the best things can happen. Just as the cases above show. So, as the saying goes: 'Fortune favors the bold! 💥

 DREAMS 1. 

There are dreams that come true. And than they are moving from the "region of dreams" to the "region of reality". In an almost unbelievable way. Or very understandably 😊, if the dream is so strong that one does everything to make it a reality. There are dreams that disappear over time as if they vanished into thin air, and even if a faint memory remains, they no longer affect our lives.

Now, I am primarily talking about the "dreams" that we imagine, not the ones we see at night while sleeping. Although I must note that these nighttime dreams also have great significance and affect our lives. They are very special because they can, among other things, completely transform time and space. It also happens that something we saw in our dream appears during the day, but not necessarily on the day immediately following the dream. It could also be much later.

It also happens (which is also quite special) that someone dreams of what will happen in the future. Now, that is a bit creepy 😊, isn't it? And there are some people to whom this happens regularly. How would you explain this scientifically or with common sense? This cannot be explained in such ways! Yet, it seems as if humans have the ability to walk across times and spaces.

By the way, this is such a mystical human ability that it inspires, for example, many films and other works of art. Poems, too. And the question often arises—not only in works of art but within ourselves as well—how one can distinguish dreams from reality. How do we know if we are currently dreaming or awake, and which one is reality then? So, we play a little with this thought, and suddenly our unwavering faith in reality shakes beneath us 😊

Two important things come to my mind here. The first is a thought by the Master, Silo, from the book titled The Message, from the chapter titled Dream and Awakening...

"VI. Sleep and Awakening
The fourth day.

1. I cannot take as real what I see in my dreams, nor what I see in semi-sleep, nor what I see when I am awake but with reveries.
2. I can take as real what I see when I am awake and without reveries. I am not speaking of what my senses register but rather of the activities of my mind when they refer to the data being thought, since they are fed by naive and dubious data from the external and internal senses as well as from memory. What is valid is that my mind knows this when it is awake and believes it when it is asleep. Only rarely do I perceive reality in a new way, and it is then that I realize that what I normally see resembles sleep or semi-sleep. There is a real way of being awake, and it has led me to meditate profoundly on all that has been said so far. It has, moreover, opened the door for me to discover the meaning of all that exists."

And the other is a poem (very well known and loved among my dear friends), Lőrinc Szabó, The Dream of Dsuang Dsi.

The Dream of Dsuang Dsi 

Two thousand years ago my master
said to me pointing at a butterfly,
I have dreamed something confusing, 
confusing and I do not know why—

A butterfly, he said, yes I was,
dancing happily in the sun, 
and now I do not know if my dream 
has just ended or just begun,

oh I do not know, he continued,
what is the truth, which one could I be, 
which one of us dreamed the other, 
which one is reality?

I laughed, it is you, Dsuang Dsi,
you are Dsuang Dsi, you!
He smiled and said, the butterfly 
also believed its truth! 

He kept smiling, I just shrugged,
but it sent shivers down my spine,
I started thinking but found no answer
for two thousand years of time,

now I believe that nothing is real,
all is but pictures and poetry, 
that Dsuang Dsi dreamed the butterfly,
the butterfly him, and all three of us, me.

Szűcs Virág Natália (Virag Natalia Szucs)

...to be continued...😉