SILENT COMPANION

You don't always have to say wise things when you meet someone who has problems. Sometimes kindness can be very helpful. A kind of gentleness, a quiet presence, something where the other person feels that there is someone they can count on, someone they can trust, and that makes them feel safe.

Otherwise, there are many things present in silence. Sometimes much more than words can express. This reminds me of one of my favourite books, Michael Ende's Momo. 

Have you read it? It's a wonderful story.

The main character is Momo, who hardly ever says a word, yet everyone goes to her when they have a problem and everyone is happier when they come to her and feel they have the answer to their problem,. Momo never does anything, never says a word, just listens quietly to everyone and somehow everything turns to be fine. I don't know how it is, but really sometimes it's enough just to listen to somebody, with no prejudice, with no expectation, just to be there. Together with the other person. 

There are people who have this ability by nature and they might choose later on a kind of work where they can use their gift. And I think they probably be very successful at it. I think if someone choose a job that he has a natural aptitude or talent for that particular thing, he certainly will be successful and maybe happier than if he choose a job that he has nothing to do with.

And there are people who don't have that kind of ability by default (to stay silent and being able to listen others), but they know and they understand that it's necessary because with this they can give a lot to others and they would try to work on developing or amplifying it.

I am very lucky, by the way, because I have several friends who are able to listen attentively and quietly and don't have the compulsion to change or correct something immediately while I am speaking or finish a sentence for me. They wait for me to explain what is going on and if I ask them they will give me their opinion. I try to be like that, but I guess I don't always succeed 😊

On the subject of friendship, I was thinking today that there are these wonderful people who I can call my friends and the best thing is that they are always my friends. 

I don't have to call or text them every day or month to remind them of my existence or my love for them. No. Even if it's been a very long time since we've seen each other, they are just as dear to me (and I think I am to them) as if not a single day have passed since we last met. Friendship is a great treasure and we reinforce it at every meeting with the special care and love we have for each other. 

 TO BE CRAZY IN ISTANBUL

What's (still 😊) great about Istanbul is that no matter how crazy you look, no one cares because there are so many people and so much diversity that you just don't notice. Or you do notice, of course, but you keep going because there's so much to see that it's just exhausting to look at everything and everyone.

But I do somtimes notice special things. Maybe other people do too and they notice that you look a bit crazy, but what's good that they don't turn around and whisper about you or laugh at you. Anyway, these "crazy people" sometimes make their crazy look fashionable. So bizarre sometimes is the look of some people that it catches the eye of others and because there are so many stylistic boundaries and mixes here that anyone can wear anything, it's just not noticeable.

It's very hard to be "conspicuous" here...and many people want to stand out from the crowd...but it's very difficult because there is so much stimulus every minute that there is an overload and it's just hard to cross that stimulus barrier. So, if someone stands out here, that's really something.

I remember one case. Now that was extreme and crazy and a bit insane. One winter, a transvestite (I think) or just a boy who likes to go around in girls clothes was walking down the street with someone and he was wearing a maxi mini skirt and maxi mini top. That was it. No jacket, nothing just the sheer skin of. I froze just looking at him. Of course I think everyone was looking at her. So she did it! 😃

Styles change quickly. I just notice that one day everyone was wearing skinies the next day everyone is looking for saggy pants. There's still not much new under the sun because the same thing changes from time to time. But the most bizarre place to dress is the second-hand market. There, the clothes are not sorted by size and colour and style. You look for yourself you measure what you like, it's about right, you buy it. AND! It's always fucking cheap (last time I bought a pair of jeans for 5 Tl for about 10 Eur cents from). It may be something you never thought you'd wear, but it's so good material and looks so good and it's cheap, but it's so cheap you say to yourself..." fuck it. This is going to be good! No? Yes! What can happen? In this big fucking city, nobody's gonna notice me anyway. Oh, thank God! 😊Yeah! I'll buy it."

And then things like this can become fashion. The weird or bizarre or extreme styles...that people (who don't stare, but look anyway) say: "Wow that looks fucking great! I want one of those!"

There are times when even the original label is left on the dress, because it's never been used. And it's not only clothes that you can buy (of course I've written about this before, but it doesn't hurt to repeat it😊). I bought a carpet for 10 Tl (20 Eur cents) last week, for example. I know that not everyone likes this market, because the clothes are not as clean as at home clothes are not as clean as at home in Budapest, for example, but who cares if they are that cheap. 

You take it home, wash it (by the way, new clothes have to be washed too, because they're not washed either), it's great. No one knows it wasn't yours a thousand years ago. Why buy thousands of dollars worth of ripped jeans in the store when you can buy them at the thrift store for a cheap price and if they're not ripped enough at home you can rip them out yourselfor sew them on or cut off what you don't like because you're not sorry if something is only 10 Tl and not 1000 or 10000.

I also buy there beautiful pictures for the wall and kitchen stuff and small little things, sometimes jewellery, of course trinkets and musical instruments like small drums, rattles etc. That's why it's "dangerous" anyway, because it's so cheap that it's hard to leave anything there too. And besides, if something is too small or too big I give it to someone who is good for or has someone who can use it. And they are happy and I am happy. Just a few things I never buy second hand e.g. shoes, underwear, swimwear, socks, cosmetics.

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JOY AND BAKLAVA

I love humour and people with a sense of humour (but I may have said that already) And if you asked what do I want mostly I think I would say peace. The kind of peace that comes with strength and joy. And what kind of peace comes with strength? The one in which there is progress and growth, the one that requires power (not violence!). 

I think joy is more understandable, but I'll write a little bit 💥 about that too. 

So peace where there is progress and growth, where there is strength and perseverance is not tiring if there is momentum, and what can give the most momentum than joy? And joy doesn't just happen, joy lifts you up, it transcends hardship and that's why it's so important to work with strength. But not with austerity, not like soldiering.

Can laxity and discipline ever go together? Sound strange! Some people think the two are opposite, but maybe not. I think it's possible to be disciplined and cool at the same time...but it's not easy 😊...I mean to be disciplined 😊. Especially when there are so many tempting things around you. Whatever that means to everyone.. For example, here in Turkey, for me: sweets. They are everywhere. They surround you. No escape. 😊One is more tempting than the other.

And now let's talk about THE BAKLAVA.

This is a typical sweet. I'm not saying it's Turkish, because it's also found in neighbouring countries, just under a different name or a slightly different way.

I think almost everyone who has never been to Turkey has already met with it. It's such a delicious sweet that it's sold abroad, and where it's made 

This is a typical sweet. I don't say it's Turkish because it's also found in surrounding countries, just under a different name or a slightly different way.

I think almost everyone, even those who has never been to Turkey has already come across with it. It's also almost certainly sold abroad where you come across a Turkish a Greek or a Syrian etc. restaurants.

There are so many different things to fill the delicious dough that baklava is made of. Here in Istanbul they sell it in many places, in many qualities, shapes, flavours, colours.

My favourite (of course) is walnut. I don't know why everyone is worshipping pistachios, which I think are good but walnuts are much tastier. So baklava, for those who have never tried it, is a must 😊 (at least I highly recommend it)

Here mothers, grandmothers who used to make cakes are makeing it themselves at home. Not easy! In fact it's hard 😊 I mean making it.

Putting the dough itself together is not that hard. You need good qualityflour, milk, eggs, oil, baking powder and a little vinegar (not everyone adds this). 

What's more difficult is rolling out the dough. You need to stretch it very thin, almost transparent and round it, at least I think that's the most authentic way to stretch it. When the dough is ready (you need several round sheets), melted butter and the spread melted butter and the chosen filling between the layers. The very top of the cake is a layer sheet. Once this layered thing is done, the dough is cut into cube or rhombus shapes before baking it. While the cake is baking (which is baked until golden brown) they make the syrup (which is the base of many Turkish cakes) It's actually a sugary water...especially sugary😊

When the baklava is baked and the syrup has cooled, it is poured over the cake. If they didn't do this then it would be a very dry almost inedible, tasteless cake. But the sugary syrup is absorbed by the cake and that's how you get the sweettaste and that special softness that comes with crispiness. 

Wonderful. It can be eaten for any occasion, but you don't really need an occasion.

And luckily, it's so common here that you're sure to find a place to buy baklava in your area (if you live in Istanbul) within 10 minutes walk. Specifically great in winter with coffee, tea (cay) or just by itself. 

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